It's healthy to worry I suppose. At least it's healthy to worry a bit. And have some stress in one's life. But, really sometimes I worry a bit much-ish. And sometimes it's just not exactly the smartest thing to do. So I go and try to destress. Or I be productive. Or I rehash things with people to whom the info is important. Or I just figure out some other semi-solution-esque thing. In any case, it is important that I get things done. Even if I procrastinate a LOT (which is in part a solution behaviour to dealing with my stress, thus allowing me to deal with it in smaller quantities) I still get things done. For example, I did in fact pay my tuition today, as planned. Maybe I put too much importance on the little things at times. Maybe I should spend more time doing crazy stuff like cleaning and dishes. I dunno, life is rather odd these days. It is taking quite some time to get used to this reading and writing game that school has now become. Especially odd is trying to figure out what reading to do when, and how to prioritize it all. Afterall, it is not all that difficult to make sure to be on top of things, if I decide that sleep is less important all the time, and continue to handle things in amusing orders (like the fact that I booked my tickets to Indy for December yesterday).
That is afterall my life: a mess of this and that and this and that… no seeming order in the mess, however it is afterall the chaos of real life experience. I'm loving doing my CKI stuff (although it remains akward to deal with my particular availability sometimes, especially to schedule phone calls and whatnot), and school work is a totally great challenge. I'm also happy with the hours I am getting at work (it will be a bit much perhaps once I'm not booking time off left and right, but I'll manage it somehow).
So I guess I should keep writing. Today I wrote a poem about my lack of inspiration today. Evoking the Muses, simply doesn't seem to work in this day and age, or so it seems. Unfortunate really. Perhaps it would be easier if life was not so packed with thing after thing after thing after thing… but perhaps I am just deluding myself into thinking that that could possibly be the case. Who knows anyhow?
What else is on my mind? Lots of little things: How much I miss my friends from ballroom dance. The fact that Darren still has my sunglasses. The fact that I almost fell asleep in class today (darn it!). The fact that Jackie's awesome enough to propose making me a nifty dress! The fact that my time is super scheduled. The fact that I see so few of my friends who have LJs these days. And I just plain am glad to have CSI available on TV again… it's just relaxing to watch that. How I tend to miss so much due to my being overscheduled (not that I would have it any other way). The fact that my contest entering is somewhat useful. The fact that travel agents are not nearly as difficult to deal with as I had imagined initially. The fact that I love the internet at times. The fact that I need more sleep. And of course some of those aren't really facts but perceptions or opinions. Now this reminds me of the passage we read in class a couple of days ago now.
At least my writing here isn't all women this women that like my classes seem to be as of late. I feel a bit innundated with women's issues. A little odd considering, but not entirely unexpected.
I guess that this would be enough self-absorbed ramblings for one night.