Life is, uh, complex

And that, my friends is probably the best way of summarizing my headspace for the moment. I'm not entirely sure why I've chosen to dwell as much as I have lately on interpersonal relations (both in a positive and in a negative way) but I'm guessing it has something to do with it being a distraction from my all too frequent arm numbness/strange sensation issues that have been plaguing me particularly badly the last few weeks. Yes I have a further medical appointment for December (yay for waiting) and yes I could go visit my regular doctor I suppose if my symptoms worsened much from where they're at, but really it's an annoyance I can generally deal with although it does interfere with much of which I've been wanting to do as of late, including playing at least one Wii game, typing for long periods of time, and sleeping on my left side (this fact has made things uncomfortable enough to interrupt my sleep occasionally lately and I've already been sleeping more strangely than I have in years). Generally folks are understanding and when things are acting up I try to compensate appropriately. Lately that's meant reading a lot of the Kickstarters and other books I've received recently. Which feels good. It's nice to be reading again even if only because other actions are considerably more painful than they ought to be.

But enough about complaining. My purpose in typing in my LJ for the first time in weeks is to put some of my garbled thoughts on the screen in a longer format than a tweet or a Facebook status posting. And really I've been putting a fair bit of thought as of late to my hopes and dreams and why some of these are stalled a bit, partially due to things less of my own control. I mean really my desires are the same as most people: find fulfilling interpersonal relationships (yes, like many folks I happen to want a longterm fulfilling romantic relationship, in a fictional universe this would be termed 'true love' but life doesn't quite work in the same way as storybooks… I really do want a family of my own someday and I wonder at whether the whole notion of a 'biological clock' is making me more worried about this than I would otherwise be? It's not like I'm in a huge rush though I do kind wish that someday this area of my life would blossom in reasonably healthy way), maintain said interpersonal relationships (and this includes friendships of course: I don't feel like I have enough hours in the day to devote to all the people I care about and want to see on a regular basis), find financial security (I really want to stop having to pay tuition soon. Of course this is linked to finishing these degrees and finding a reasonably fulfilling job that isn't at the grocery store!), travel, pursue my hobbies, eat yummy food, be healthy and exercise (see above health complaints for reasons as to why this isn't working as well as I would hope for it to), and so on. My dreams are similar to many people's and really I don't have it as badly off as I might sometimes feel like it is. But I get pretty wrapped up in my head sometimes.

Last night I hosted folks for some Evil Baby Orphanage and Things. It was good and the themed potluck went amazingly well. I'm pretty pleased with these facts and hope that the future includes more awesome board games as well as yummy food, friendship, and of course happy moments. I had best run off to work now, but I did feel like typing up a short posting in any case.

Haven't posted in a while, but I guess I'm a year older…

… and while I've spent a bunch of time during the past year not having enough energy (I really ought to be more energetic!), and not being quite as productive as I'd like to be (sure, I'm not superhuman, but this has been ridiculously different than what used to be my norm), I like to think I've come a long long way from my lowest points (mentally, emotionally, physically) this year. And I've got a much better idea of my health concerns (though still no real concrete answers about the arms going numb on occasion thing among other frustrating but oh well issues). I do like the health care I do have access to, and I think I'm finally getting caught up on aspects of my life that have gotten away from me a bit.

And yeah, life's been stressful, be it Kiwanis stress, money stress, stress because I'm female, stress because I'm still a student [and I used to think I would have graduated by now… at least I'm making progress now toward actually finishing these degrees, and fewer people are making me feel badly about it], interpersonal stress, work stress, and, and, and…!

But I had a rather good week surrounding my birthday. I got to work on my birthday but that was followed by a great birthday gathering of those who could attend and some delicious Japanese food (heck, Japanese food is my comfort food of choice and I doubt that that will change any time soon), along with some great conversations. I got some good cards, balloons, a book, and a great case for my Cards Against Humanity cards among other things but more importantly, I got to spend time with friends, many of whom I hadn't seen in far too long. And that counts to me more than most other things could. I also totally enjoyed my free Booster Juice, Marble Slab Ice Cream, Red Robin Burger, and The Melting Pot strawberries (I've only eaten one of the chocolate covered strawberries, but oh my goodness so delicious) that I got for being on the appropriate emailing lists (Boston Pizza's freebie is just a free dessert so I doubt I'll use it this year). I also got to go out with family at The Melting Pot in Edmonton last night and totally get spoiled with delicious food, much of which being reminiscent of my last trip to The Melting Pot in Indianapolis in like 2005 and oh so delicious! It was great to see everyone! My youngest nephew is growing so fast and I'm so pleased that everyone in my family gets along as well as they do! 🙂

I guess I'm realizing more and more as I get older both the advantages that I have and the disadvantages I deal with. And, my time on this planet is limited (as is everyone's!) and I want to do so much more! But you know what, I do love my life, when I think about it, and although there are a lot of things in life that are imperfect, it's nice to celebrate the fact that I've indeed made it through another year and have more adventures to look forward to!